j^_^

Chocolate makes me feel better.

我們要如何健康地控制情緒?

舉例::上司吩咐不清楚的, 我弄錯工作, 我被上司罵了，因此我生氣。

首先打斷憤怒、暫停一下
1. 先深呼吸, 從一數到十或者更久。 還不靜下來,
2. 轉移注意力, 看東看西。還不靜下來,
3. 無法忍受, 趁有利時機溜走那個環境.

當靜下來的時候找出原因
來探討一下為甚麼同事被上司罵不會像我這麼生氣，我卻氣得全身發抖想要揍人.
我們需要了解憤怒因應, 改為正向思考、理性思考. 我氣的是甚麼？

我為甚麼這麼要面子？上司就是上司, 我事實上弄錯工作（了解憤怒因應）
我氣上司不尊重我. 我的面子要往哪裡擺？（發現負向思考）
上司大概是太累了心情不太好吧！才會遷怒給我. （改為正向思考、理性思考）
跟上司好好溝通防止再一次弄錯工作. (回去解決問題)

以 上的例子是比較簡單的例子，我只是借用這個例子來說明幾個有效轉移憤怒的步驟。有時我們的情緒是很複雜的，一下子改過來是不容易的。

我們需要不斷的練習。多觀察週遭的人是如何"有效"的處理情緒：避開憤怒情境、積極傾聽、不做負向思考、不自以為是、誠實面對自己的問題、幽默化解危機、適時的休息與放鬆，都是不錯的方法。

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重要的前提是：
我們要先能尊重自己、尊重人的價值，進而能尊重別人。

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It is OK to have anger but we need to handle it healthy, or at least, minimize its destructive consequence. Some people do not express their anger at all. Finally, they have intense, explosive outburst of anger. People who have frequent outburst of anger and direct the anger to friends, strangers or any person surrounding them. They may eventually loss all their friends.

I used to upset easily, one day, I found the following atttiudes are very useful:

Whenever, I get mad, I tell myself:
1. Getting upset won't help.
2. I still need his or her help in the future. Don't fight back.
3. What he or she did is nothing.
4. He probably intends to make me angry, don't fall into the trap.
5. Anger will shoot up my blood pressure. Calm down.
6. It is not worth to get so angry.

I can also "count 1-1000" in our mind to distract from the situation, if it does not help.

I can just simply walk out from the situation. Later, find a good chance, when we both have a good mood, discuss the issue again. 
網誌標籤：情緒, 控制, 生氣, 尊重, 面子, 注意力, anger, 憤怒, management, 思考, 效轉